47 things more important than the Depp vs Heard trial

It’s way more entertaining watching a millionaire former couple’s pain and humiliation than seeing actual suffering

The now infamous $50 million defamation court case between actors and former lovers Amber Heard and Johnny Depp is entering its 15th day, and the world has been transfixed throughout its duration, as the general public tries to decide which of the two celebrities they should be angry at.

Just as we’d collectively concluded that the world couldn’t possibly get any weirder – we suddenly had to confront the reality that there are actually now millions of people discussing whether the Aquaman star taking a shit on the bed of The Pirates of the Caribbean star was a ‘prank’ or abuse.

Reality is leaking

By now, you probably know as much about the case as the jury does, given that the trial is being televised and dominating most feeds around the globe. You likely know more about the relationship problems of Heard and Depp than those of your own parents’. Do you know if either of your parents has ever shat the marital bed?

So it’s unnecessary to go into the details of the case here (or anywhere outside the courtroom really) – anybody who has access to a screen has almost definitely already Heard (pun intended) of the story by now.

The fact that this is true, is a joke – not like a joke intended to make people laugh but instead gets you assaulted like the ones told by Chris Rock or Dave Chapelle, but actually just a truth so ridiculous that it verges on hilarious.

There is more media coverage and public attention being directed at the failed relationship of two millionaire movie stars than there is towards the multitude of other events happening in the world right now. Just as an example – here is a list of more important issues that have been reported on less than Depp and Heard (in no particular time frame) –

The Amazon union leader Christian Smalls is literally 1000 times less important than this court case

These are just a few Google News search results that had less results than the Heard/Depp case – ‘hunger’, ‘global warming’, ‘uyghur’, ‘roe v wade’, ‘forest fires’, ‘christian smalls’, ‘senate’, ‘ukraine refugees‘, and ‘opioid crisis’. The list does go on.

So the average media outlet reports more on an A-list couple’s troubled marriage than they do on people starving, on genocide, on the pharmaceutical drug epidemic, on people displaced by war, on the first Amazon union, on the world burning, and on the removal of abortion rights.

It’s extremely comforting to know that the various media outlets of the world care about human beings so much that they mostly dedicate as much (if not more) of their time debating whether Amber Heard’s bruise was real as they do informing us of our rights as people or the impending potential destruction of all life on the planet.

Come on, we all know which newspaper we’d pick up – none, because the internet exists

While everybody has been focusing on the court hearing (I won’t deny I spent way more time than I should reading about Amber Heard pooing in a bed), the world has carried on turning and the huge array of social/political/economic issues plaguing the world have carried on existing.

The outcome of the trial will very likely have an important effect on society (especially with this much coverage); on peoples response to victims of abuse, on how allegations of sexual assault and abuse are treated, and on how much confidence people feel when they come forward with their own experiences.

However, we don’t need to follow every single bloody and shitty detail of the entire trial as if it were reality TV. It’s undeniably gripping stuff but we have to wonder if headlines such as these –

are really worthy of as much attention as they’re getting. Would an average working class couple in the UK countryside or a factory worker in Bangladesh get this much attention? Would each and every single emotion they feel in a divorce be headline news? Would pictures of them looking sad be on the front page of every news website? [Insert obvious answer here]

Abuse and assault are serious issues, but the news isn’t covering the millions of cases of abuse (human rights, domestic, international law etc) that happen every day. What is wrong with our society that gets us to watch these stories like it’s a big budget episode of Judge Judy?

With all of that said, we’ve compiled a listicle (Yay listicles!) of 47 things that deserve your attention more than the ongoing case between the two disputing movie stars. Why 47 you may ask? Well, the number of items on a listicle is about as relevant as Amber Heard’s “faecal matter” is to your daily life.

So here goes, 47 things you could follow instead of the defamation trial….

  1. Anything else
  2. Anything else
  3. Anything else
  4. Anything else
  5. Anything else
  6. Anything else
  7. Anything else
  8. Anything else
  9. Anything else
  10. Anything else
  11. Anything else
  12. Anything else
  13. Anything else
  14. Anything else
  15. Anything else
  16. Anything else
  17. Anything else
  18. Anything else
  19. Anything else
  20. Anything else
  21. Anything else
  22. Anything else
  23. Anything else
  24. Anything else
  25. Anything else
  26. Anything else
  27. Anything else
  28. Anything else
  29. Anything else
  30. Anything else
  31. Anything else
  32. Anything else
  33. Anything else
  34. Anything else
  35. Anything else
  36. Anything else
  37. Anything else
  38. Anything else
  39. Anything else
  40. Anything else
  41. Anything else
  42. Anything else
  43. Anything else
  44. Anything else
  45. Anything else
  46. Anything else
  47. Anything else

So there you have it, folks. A list of 47 other issues you could be spending your time learning about and following instead of religiously studying the court case of these two incredibly famous and wealthy individuals.

These are merely suggestions of course! You can spend your time however you please, but perhaps even watching paint dry might contribute more to your happiness, mental wellbeing and to society than following this story.

There are billions of other things happening in the world right now that you could, and that the media should be focusing on right now. Just google human rights and click on any of the 2,270,000,000 results that pop up.

Hmmm human rights… what is that again?

Just try not to feed into the obsession with celebrity lives – it doesn’t make the world a better place, and as corporate media sees more traffic going towards stories like these, they will only create and spew out more of this trashy ‘journalism’.

As mentioned before, the outcome of the case may have large repercussions on society – if Depp wins there are sure to be tons of men who will reference Amber Heard when trying to deny any accusations of sexual assault or abuse, or the small percentage of women who do actually lie (all humans lie) may be highlighted by the masses rather than victims who have really been abused. On the plus side people would see that men can also be abused and men might be taken more seriously when opening up about their own abuse.

If Heard wins, well perhaps more women will feel comfortable with coming forward about their own experiences without being accused of lying or demonised. On the other hand, as the general internet seems to believe Heard is a sociopathic liar, it would appear unjust to a lot of people for her to win.

Either way, the outcome will matter.

However, a headline about every single feeling and reaction that each celebrity involved has, combined with updates on every piece of evidence brought forward, is only an indication that celebrity worship is eating away at our society. Our fixation on celebrity drama shows that the spiritual disconnect between the elite class and everyone else, is actually bigger than that which is evident in the multitude of problems we are so desperately struggling to ignore.

Until we realize that the idolization of the famous and wealthy is a symptom of a much larger sickness, we will never be able to treat and heal the illness that is at the root of so many of the problems that cause our collective civilization to continue to break apart.

Big brainy quote for clever homo sapiens

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